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3月份對話新訊息:「四個層次的聆聽與談話」“4 levels of listening and conversation"

四個層次的聆聽與談話:

Presencing Institute 的U實驗室課程重點

朝邦文教基金會 執行長 吳咨杏 整理

今年一月,Presencing Institute開始了一堂為期三個月的網路課程,名為「U實驗室:轉化企業、社會及自我​」,讓參與者學習如何運用意識處理管理與社會科學的議題。這套促進變革的做法, 其理念建構在任何的社會系統所展現的成果,品質都取決於系統中的參與者的認知、專注力或意識的品質。 

這次U實驗室的課程中,有一些來自台灣的參與者加入,本月對話新訊息是我在這次課程中的對聆聽與談話的學習,與大家分享。

聆聽:

在所有的領導力中,聆聽是最被低估的,因為聆聽其實是所有傑出領導力的根源基本。

當領導力失敗,往往是因為聆聽不足。聆聽並不只是聽見,而是在更深的層面上,與當下的真相有所連結,而領導者之所以失敗,就經常是因為領導者與當下的狀況失去連結而引起。

因此,聆聽是在任何領域有所成效的核心技巧,不管是專業的領域或是個人生活的層面都是如此。

U型理論以一個四種層次的模式解釋聆聽的狀態:

聆聽層次一:下載

「下載」的意思是你正在聆聽資訊,從中尋找可以驗證你的意見與判斷的資訊。但是這樣的聆聽反映的是過去而非當下。 


聆聽層次二:事實的聆聽

當我們聆聽事實,我們會將我們的心智打開,接納新的訊息,這樣就會注意到現在正發生的事物與我以為會發生的事物兩者之間的差別。

但是如果要處理複雜的社會改變,還需要兩個層次的聆聽。
 

聆聽層次三:同理的聆聽

同理的聆聽就是能夠看見、感受到對方的立場。在這個層次,你會身處對方的立場,從對方的經歷思考,以這樣的立場來聆聽。


聆聽層次四:具創生性的聆聽

這種聆聽需要將自己堅持的意見放下,讓新的可能性有空間進來。這種聆聽必須要連結到我們本身的自我,以及我們想要變成的人。 

比方說,一個很好的教練聆聽客戶目前面臨的挑戰,他會在此時注意到客戶在未來最極致的可能性。這樣的聆聽就能感受到對方自己未來的模樣,幫助客戶做出連結,讓他們可以看見未來的自己,不只看見自己的歷史,也看見未來自己最大的潛能。


 

談話:

我們處於哪一個層次的聆聽階段,就會展現於我們談話時的品質。

談話的第一個層次:下載

在「下載」層次的談話中,我們通常會根據我們自認對方想要聽到的內容做出判斷而發言,所以這樣的談話通常是禮貌性的或是制式的談話,只是說別人想要聽的話,並非真正將我們的想法說出來。在學校裡,這種談話的風格稱為「學習」,在組織內,這是良好的溝通,甚至可以說給予正面的回應。

談話的第二個層次:辯論

在辯論中,人們強調自己論點的差異,發言的基礎是我怎麼想,而不是他們要我說什麼。這種談話的限制,是人們無法放下自己的論點,變得防禦性很高,想要爭論「我的論點」比「你的論點」好,而我想要說服你我的想法是對的。


談話的第三個層次:反映性對話

在反映式對話中,你和我的看法不同,但是我開始提出一些真誠的問題,希望瞭解你為什麼意見會不同?

反映性對話是一種心態上的轉化,從「我就是我的意見」到「我有一個觀點」,這種轉化就是變革管理的關鍵。

談話的第四個層次:集體創意

在集體創意中,團隊開始一起發揮創意,透過彼此的互動,而不是個別產生出構思。透過這個談話,從這個特定的團體產生出的能量與啟發,促成了全新的東西。

我怎麼知道身處於哪一個層次的談話?

下載:你在談話中預期可能會聽到的論點與經驗,果真如預期發生,這表示你當時就是在下載,你所參與的談話,並沒有任何新的東西出現。

辯論:當你結束一段談話之後,覺得某種新的訊息或觀點,挑戰到你的假設。

反思式的談話:當你結束一段談話之後,你得到了新的觀點,而不是單純新的資訊。你就可能會接觸到一些挑戰到你的假設的新訊息,可以透過另一個角度來看現今的現象,也開始透過別人的眼睛看見自己。
 

集體創意

有關集體創意,一般來說有四項指標:高能量,高啟發,產生出新的構思,還有對於自己真正的人生旅程,以及未來的自己更有連結感。

高效能的團隊在談話中可以自在地遊走於各種層面的聆聽與 談話,但是低效能的團隊通常只會卡在第一層或第二層。


反思練習

邀請您每天花點時間反思:”我在聆聽與對話中,在各層面的比例各是多少?我有什麼學習?”

"Listening & Speaking at 4 levels": a summary from the Presencing Institute’s Ulab experience. 

by Jorie Wu, CPF

In January this year, the Presencing Institute started a three months online course called “U.Lab: Transforming Business, Society and Self” for participants to learn how to work with consciousness in management and the social sciences.  This approach to leading change posits that the quality of the results that we create in any kind of social system is a function of the quality of awareness, attention or consciousness that the participants in the system operate from. 

A number of participants from Taiwan joined this U.Lab and I’d like to briefly share with you some of my key learnings on” listening and conversation” from this course.

Listening

Listening is the most underrated of all leadership capacities, because listening is at the source of all great leadership.

When there is leadership failure, it’s likely due to a lack of listening.  Listening is not just hearing; on a deeper level listening means connecting with what’s really going on in reality right now, and leadership failure is often because of a disconnection between leaders and the situation on the ground. 

So listening is a core skill for all domains of mastery, for our professional life as well as personal life.

Theory U explains listening using a model with four levels of depth:

Listening 1: Downloading

“Downloading” means you are listening for information that reconfirms your opinions and judgements. This listening reflects the past, not the present moment.  



Listening 2: Factual listening

In listening for facts we open our mind to new information and then noticing the differences between what is actually happening and what I thought would happen.

Managing complex social changes however requires two additional levels of listening: 

Listening 3: Empathic listening

Empathic listening is when we see and feel from another person’s perspective.  At this point you are listening from the place and experience from which the other person is speaking.

Listening 4: Generative listening

Generative listening requires us to let go of our attachments to our opinions and to let a new future to be possible.  This listening comes from connecting the source of who we are and who we want to be.

For example: a great coach listens to the client’s current struggles in terms of noticing already the arrival of the client’s highest future possibility.  This type of listening is able to perceive the emerging future self and to help the client connect with and be helped by that emerging future possibility.  Generative listening is what great educators and leaders do; they see things not only for its history but also for its highest future possibility.

  


Conversation

The level of one’s listening is also manifested in our quality of conversation.

First level of conversation: Downloading

In a “Downloading” level conversation we are speaking from a judgement of what we think others want to hear; so we would be having polite or routine conversation and basically confirming what other people want us to say, not necessarily articulating what we really think.  In school, this style of conversation is called learning; in organizations it’s called good communication or even giving positive feedback.

Second level of conversation: Debate

In debate people emphasize their differences of opinion, and speaking from what I think rather than from what they want me to say.  The limitation of this conversation style is that people cannot get beyond their point of view and become defensive and debate how “my view” is better than “your view”, and I am trying to convince you that my viewpoint is right.

Third level of conversation: Reflective Dialogue

In reflective dialogue you and I still have different viewpoints but I am beginning to ask genuine questions to understand what makes you think differently?

Reflective dialogue is a mindset shift from “I am my opinion” to “I have an opinion”; this shift is the key to change management.

Fourth level of conversation: Collective Creativity

In collective creativity a group becomes creative together and the ideas are produced by the group’s interaction and not by any individual.  Through this conversation something totally new is created from the energy and inspiration generated by that particular group.


How can we know which level of conversation is operating

Downloading: When everything you expected to hear and experience in a conversation actually happened as expected; that indicates you have been downloading and you have been part of a conversation where nothing new really happened.

Debate: When you come out of a conversation and feel your assumptions were challenged by new data or viewpoints.

Reflective Dialogue: When you come out of a dialogue with a new perspective and not just new data. You were likely exposed to new data that challenged your assumptions and also enabled you to see reality through another perspective and you begin to see yourself through others’ eyes.

Collective Creativity

There are four general indicators of collective creativity: high energy, high inspiration, something new being born as the result of it and you feel more connected to your real journey and to your emerging self.

High performing teams can move across the entire spectrums of fields of conversation, while low performing teams tend to be stuck in levels one or two.


Reflection Exercise

We invite you to spend some time every day and reflect on “What percentage of my time am I actually spending on each level in both my listening and my conversation? “

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